The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It", the main reason why I choose that topic because many spouses can't detect gaslighting in relationship status, If we pay attention to research by psychology experts, Gas lighting is part of a person's inability to show the honesty of their dark side, On average, they were victims of violent trauma before they built a serious relationship, Gaslighting is a severe form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse where one person seeks to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. In relationships, this insidious behavior can have profound and long-lasting psychological effects.

💔 Long-Term Psychological Effects of Gaslighting

The constant, systematic erosion of reality caused by gaslighting can lead to serious mental health consequences that persist long after the abusive relationship ends.

 * Pervasive Self-Doubt and Confusion: This is the core long-term effect. Victims struggle to trust their instincts, feelings, and thoughts, which can extend beyond the abusive relationship and affect all areas of life, leading to indecision and an over-reliance on others for validation.

 * Mental Health Disorders: Chronic exposure to the stress and invalidation of gaslighting can contribute to or exacerbate mental health conditions, including:

   * Anxiety and Chronic Stress: The victim is constantly on edge, anticipating the next manipulation or lie, leading to a state of hypervigilance.

   * Depression: Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair resulting from the ongoing emotional abuse and diminished self-worth.

   * **Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD (C-PTSD): Especially in severe cases, the trauma can result in symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors.

 * Erosion of Self-Esteem and Identity: Victims internalize the abuser's messages that they are "crazy," "wrong," or "too sensitive." They lose their sense of self, values, and worth, often believing their identity is defined by the gaslighter.

 * Social Isolation and Trust Issues: The gaslighter often isolates the victim from friends and family, making it harder to break free. Even after leaving, the trauma can cause difficulty trusting new people, opening up, or feeling safe in future healthy relationships.

 * Impaired Decision-Making: Due to constantly having their judgment questioned and invalidated, victims may become highly indecisive and feel incapable of making sound choices independently.

✅ How to Deal with Gaslighting and Begin Healing

Dealing with gaslighting involves strategies for immediate defense, establishing boundaries, and a long-term healing process to reclaim your reality.

1. Immediate Defenses & Validation

 * Acknowledge and Validate Your Experience: The most crucial first step is to recognize the manipulation and believe yourself. Tell yourself: "I know my reality," and "My feelings are valid."

 * **Document Everything (The "Paper Trail"): Keep a private, secure record of conversations, incidents, dates, and times. Writing down the facts can serve as a powerful reality check when the gaslighter tries to deny or distort what happened.

 * Disengage from the Argument: The gaslighter aims to draw you into circular arguments. Refuse to debate your reality. Use simple, non-emotional statements like:

   * "I know what I saw."

   * "That's your perception, and this is mine."

   * "I'm not going to continue this conversation right now."

2. Re-establishing Boundaries and Support

 * Set and Enforce Firm Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behavior you will and will not accept, and stick to the consequences if the boundary is violated. In severe cases, this means limiting or cutting off contact entirely.

 * Seek Outside Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues who can validate your experiences and perception of events. Gaslighters work by isolating you, so reconnecting with a supportive network is vital.

 * Educate Yourself: Learn about the tactics of gaslighting and emotional abuse. Understanding the mechanism of the manipulation empowers you to recognize it and resist it.

3. The Healing and Recovery Journey

 * Professional Therapy: A mental health professional (like a trauma-informed therapist or a therapist specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/CBT) can provide essential tools for recovery. Therapy helps:

   * Process the trauma and grief.

   * Rebuild self-trust and self-esteem.

   * Challenge negative, internalized messages (cognitive restructuring).

 * Focus on Self-Care and Reconnection: Engage in activities that help you reconnect with your authentic self and intuition:

   * Journaling to anchor your thoughts and feelings.

   * Practicing mindfulness or meditation to feel grounded.

   * Engaging in hobbies, exercise, or creative activities that you enjoy and that reaffirm your self-agency.

 * Be Patient and Practice Self-Compassion: Healing from psychological abuse is a long, non-linear process. Forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, acknowledge that you are a survivor, and give yourself grace to heal at your own pace.

If you are currently in a situation involving gaslighting or other forms of emotional abuse, consider reaching out to a local abuse hotline or mental health professional for immediate support and resources.

Several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity", the main reason why I choose that topic because many schools try to provide a good program for the students, "There are several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity. These approaches typically combine cognition (thinking) and affect (feelings and empathy). Here are common methods used in educational psychology, organizations, and therapy:

 

⭐ 1. Reflective Thinking

 This method involves exercises to: 

✅evaluate past experiences, 

✅recognize patterns of emotional reactions, 

✅connect thoughts–feelings–actions.

 

Example exercises: 

✅Reflective journaling 

✅“Pause and name the emotion” 

Writing daily experiences with an analysis of what I felt and why I felt it.

  

⭐ 2. Cognitive Behavioral Training (CBT-Based Awareness) 

Training the relationship between: 

👉 Thoughts → Feelings → Behaviors

 

The goal is for someone to be able to: 

✅recognize automatic thoughts, 

✅evaluate irrational thoughts, 

✅choose healthy emotional responses.

 

This improves self-awareness and emotional control.

  

⭐ 3. Mindfulness-Based Emotional Training 

Training the ability to be fully present with what is felt without judgment.

 

Techniques used: 

✅Mindful breathing 

✅Body scan 

✅RASA method (Receive, Acknowledge, Summarize, Ask)

 

This method improves:

✅empathy, 

✅sensitivity to one's own feelings,

✅ability to capture emotional signals from others.

 

⭐ 4. Role-Playing and Social Simulation

Used in professional communication training, counseling, education, and the military.

 

Its function: 

✅understand other people's perspectives, 

✅learn appropriate social responses, 

✅practice situational empathy.

 

Examples: work conflict simulations, practicing speaking with an empathetic tone, negotiation games.

 

 

 

⭐ 5. Active Listening Training

Focus on: 

✅listening before responding, 

✅capturing the emotion behind the words, 

✅validating other people's feelings.

 

Techniques: 

✅paraphrasing, 

✅reflective listening,

 ✅emotional labeling.

 

This trains emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationship skills.

 

⭐ 6. Emotional Literacy Education

 Training that helps participants: 

✅know the vocabulary of emotions (more detailed than just "angry, sad, happy") 

✅understand the intensity of emotions (e.g., annoyed → angry → furious) 

✅identify sources of emotional triggers

 

This method is used in trauma therapy, parenting, and leadership training.

 

⭐ 7. Narrative Therapy & Storytelling Practice

 Participants are asked to: 

✅tell emotional experiences, 

✅give meaning to that experience, 

✅find a healthier narrative.

 

This integrates intellectual abilities (language, logic, reflection) with deep emotional processing.

 

⭐ 8. Group Discussion & Empathy Circle

 This method involves: 

✅open dialogue, 

✅listening to other people's experiences without judging, 

✅sharing perspectives. 

The results: 

✅increased emotional attunement, 

✅increased empathy and ability to read social emotional situations.

 

🔍 Conclusion 

Intellectual training that develops emotional sensitivity not only focuses on thinking skills, but also self-awareness, empathy, emotion regulation, and meaning-making of experiences."

What makes person feels mentally and emotionally drained

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What makes person feels mentally and emotionally drained", the main reason why I choose that topic because most people get emotional drained in the computerized industry area, let's try to pay attention from the research, Emotional exhaustion (often associated with emotional burnout) is a condition in which a person feels mentally and emotionally drained as a result of prolonged, poorly managed stress, to overcome weakened emotional levels, we need a gap between the rest phase and the stress phase to balance the stress level.

Here are the main categories and specific causes of someone experiencing emotional exhaustion:

Causes of Emotional Exhaustion

The main cause of emotional exhaustion is chronic or prolonged stress that drains a person's energy and psychological resources.

 

1. Work-Related Factors

Emotional exhaustion often stems from the professional environment:

 

- Excessive Workload: Too many tasks (overload), long working hours/overtime, or working without adequate breaks.

- High-Stress Jobs: Working in fields that require intensive emotional attention (e.g., teachers, nurses/medical staff, social workers, customer service).

- Lack of Recognition/Appreciation: Feeling that hard work is not valued or recognized.

- Toxic Work Environment: Presence of conflict, lack of support from superiors or colleagues, or a work culture that demands excessive perfection.

- Role Ambiguity: Lack of a clear job description, leading to confusion and frustration.

 

2. Factors Related to Personal Life & Relationships

Problems in daily life can be a major source of emotional exhaustion:

 

- Significant Life Changes: Experiencing major events such as divorce, death of a loved one, moving house, or job loss.

- Financial Problems: Prolonged economic hardship or mounting debt.

- Heavy Caregiving Responsibilities: Caring for family members with chronic illnesses, or raising young children (especially without adequate support).

- Lack of Support System: Feeling alone, lonely, or not having someone trusted to share problems with.

- Difficult Relationships: Being trapped in unhealthy, conflict-ridden, or emotionally demanding relationships (e.g., being a people pleaser).

 

3. Lifestyle & Personal Factors

How individuals manage themselves also contributes to emotional exhaustion:

 

- Inability to Manage Emotions: Often suppressing emotions (holding back feelings of sadness, anger, or disappointment) instead of expressing them in a healthy way.

- People Pleaser Tendencies: Always trying to please others, having difficulty saying "no," and often sacrificing one's own needs.

- Unhealthy Lifestyle: Chronic lack of sleep, poor diet, or lack of time for exercise and self-care.

- Monotony and Boredom: Being stuck in a boring routine without challenges or enjoyable things that can provide motivation.

- Mental Health Issues: Other conditions such as depression, anxiety, or chronic illness can also trigger or worsen emotional exhaustion.

In short, emotional exhaustion occurs when the emotional demands coming from the environment (work, relationships, crises) exceed a person's capacity to cope and recover.

Why are established habits difficult to break

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why are established habits difficult to break", the main reason why I choose that topic because the question that I mentioned in the topic touches on the core of the psychology and neuroscience of habits. Habits that have been performed frequently become very difficult to eliminate because they are deeply rooted in three levels: the Brain (Biological), Behavioral Patterns (Psychological), and the Environment.

 

Here are the main reasons why habits are difficult to break:

 

🧠 1. Brain Mechanism (Strong Neural Pathways)

Habits are the brain's way of conserving energy. When an action is repeated many times, the brain transforms it from a conscious decision-making process into an automatic response, which involves the following mechanisms:

 

- Reinforced Neural Pathways (Neuroplasticity): Every time you repeat a habit (e.g., smoking when stressed), the neurons in the brain associated with that action connect more strongly. Imagine it like creating a path in a meadow; the more often it is traversed, the clearer and easier the path becomes.

- Result: The action becomes a default response that is performed without needing to think hard.

- Role of Basal Ganglia: This part of the brain stores habits. When a habit is stored here, the part of the brain responsible for logic and conscious thought (Prefrontal Cortex) no longer needs to work.

- Result: Habits operate subconsciously, making them difficult to "access" and change by sheer willpower.

- Dopamine Effect: Habits that provide quick rewards—such as the feeling of comfort after eating something sweet or relief after procrastinating—release the neurotransmitter dopamine.

- Result: Dopamine creates a strong urge (craving) to repeat the action when a trigger (cue) appears, even if you know the habit is bad.

 

🔁 2. The Habit Loop

Every habit operates within a three-step cycle that locks in your behavior:

 

- Cue: The trigger is a signal that tells the brain to enter automatic mode (e.g., seeing a cellphone, 7 PM, feeling bored, or a specific location).

- Routine: The action you take in response to the trigger (e.g., grabbing a snack, opening social media).

- Reward: The benefit or satisfaction you get (e.g., sweetness, feeling entertained, temporary relief).

Difficult to Break Because: This cycle creates an expectation. Once the Cue appears, your brain automatically expects the Reward. If you try to break the Routine, your brain will send strong "need" or "anxiety" signals (craving), demanding that you complete the cycle to get the predicted reward.

 

🛋️ 3. Psychological and Environmental Factors

 

- Comfort and Safe Zone: The brain tends to prefer predictability. Old habits feel safe and comfortable, even if they are bad. Change brings uncertainty, which the brain often interprets as danger or stress.

- Self-Identity: If you often repeat a habit, it can become part of who you are ("I am a person who likes to stay up late" or "I am not disciplined"). Changing habits means changing self-identity, which feels psychologically very heavy.

- Environmental Support: An environment that is not supportive or is full of triggers will greatly hinder change. If all your friends smoke, it is very difficult for you to quit because your environment constantly provides Cues and social Routines.

 

Conclusion:

Habits are difficult to break not because you are weak, but because habits are very efficient automatic pathways created by your brain to conserve energy. To change them, you cannot rely solely on willpower, but must identify and break/replace elements in the Habit Loop (Cue → Routine → Reward) so that the brain can build new neural pathways."

Why do we blame others for other people's Inability

 

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do we blame others for other people's Inability", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people like to blame others from inability, "From a psychological perspective, the answer is clear: Objectively, it's not feasible, yet subjectively, people often find themselves doing it. Psychology not only looks at the "facts" of inability but also examines why the human brain has a tendency (bias) to keep blaming—either blaming oneself (self-blame) or others—even when the inability is real.

 

Here's a breakdown from a psychological standpoint:

 

1. Why Do We Blame Others for Inability?

When we see others fail to do something (even if they are unable), our brains often experience a cognitive bias called the Fundamental Attribution Error.

 

- What is it? We tend to judge others' failures as a result of their internal character (lazy, stupid, careless), when in reality, it is due to external situations (illness, disaster, physical limitations).

- Example: Someone is late for a meeting because of a flat tire (situational/inability). Their boss might think, "They are a person who is undisciplined" (character), instead of "They are just having bad luck."

- Social Psychology: Humans do this to maintain a sense of safety. Acknowledging that "bad things can happen for no reason (external factors)" is scary. It's easier to blame the person.

 

2. Why Do We Blame Ourselves? (Illusion of Control)

This is the most painful phenomenon. Why does someone feel guilty for not being able to save a terminally ill parent or not being able to prevent an accident?

 

- Illusion of Control: Humans have a deep psychological need to feel in control. Acknowledging "I am powerless" is often more frightening than feeling guilty.

- Subconscious Logic: "If I feel guilty, it means I should have been able to do something." This provides a false sense of security that in the future, we can prevent bad things from happening again.

- Hindsight Bias: The tendency to see past events as something that "should have been predictable."

Example: "I should have known it would rain that day, so I wouldn't have taken them out." In fact, when the decision was made, that data did not exist or the ability to predict it was impossible.

 

3. The Concept of "Psychological Inability"

Psychology also introduces the nuance that "inability" is not just physical. There are conditions where the brain refuses to cooperate, which are often misinterpreted as "lazy" or "unwilling."

 

- Executive Dysfunction: Often occurs in ADHD, depression, or severe anxiety. Someone wants to do something, but the neural pathways in their brain are jammed. They are literally "unable" to start the task.

- Blaming people in this condition can worsen their mental state without improving performance.

- Learned Helplessness: If someone constantly fails or is suppressed, they may feel "unable" when they are actually capable. In this case, blaming them is also ineffective; they need confidence rehabilitation, not punishment.

 

4. The Impact of Blaming Inability

Blaming someone (or yourself) for something beyond their capacity is toxic to mental health (Toxic Guilt/Shame).

 

Aspect Healthy Guilt Toxic Guilt/Shame 

Trigger Making a mistake that is within our control. Feeling responsible for something beyond our control. 

Self-Message "I made a mistake." "I am a mistake/failure." 

Result Self-improvement & responsibility. Depression, anxiety, & mental paralysis. 

 

Psychological Conclusion

Psychology teaches the concept of Radical Acceptance:

 

- Acknowledging limitations is a sign of mental health, not weakness.

- Humans have cognitive, emotional, and physical limits.

- Blaming people (or yourself) for absolute inability is a form of cognitive distortion (irrational thinking).

 

Humans deserve to be forgiven for their limitations. Perfection is not a requirement for being a valuable human being."

The habit of people who like to dominate conversations

  Hi, today I would like to share the interesting topic namely "the habit of people who like to dominate conversations", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is aware about the topic once they are talking with others, sometimes there are types of people who don't care who they are talking to, moreover, they also do not adjust to the conditions of the person they are talking to, The psychological view on the habit of people who like to dominate conversations (conversation monopolization) is that this behavior is often rooted in certain personality factors, motivations, and psychological needs, and can negatively impact social interactions.

 

In general, this dominating behavior indicates an imbalance in communication and can make the other person feel ignored or unappreciated.

 

🧐 Underlying Psychological Factors

The habit of dominating conversations can be caused by various factors, including:

 

1. - Need for Validation and Attention: Someone may talk excessively to gain approval, recognition, or attention from others. For them, attention is an affirmation (validation) that they are valued and important.

2. - Low Self-Esteem: Although they may appear confident, some people use conversation domination as a defense mechanism. They control the narrative and information shared to avoid criticism, judgment, or vulnerability.

3. - Narcissistic Traits: In more extreme cases, this behavior can be associated with Narcissistic Personality. Narcissistic individuals tend to have a sense of superiority, an excessive focus on themselves, and consider their ideas/opinions more important.

4. - Social Anxiety: Ironically, some people talk incessantly to avoid silence or social anxiety. They fill every gap in the conversation because they feel anxious or afraid that silence will cause them to lose the opportunity to speak or their ideas will be forgotten (cognitive impatience).

5. - Excessive Enthusiasm or Lack of Self-Awareness: Sometimes, this behavior arises from great enthusiasm for a topic or a lack of awareness of non-verbal cues (body language, expressions) from the other person who wants to interrupt or respond.

 

🗣️ Characteristics of Dominating Behavior

People who dominate conversations typically exhibit the following characteristics:

 

- Frequently Interrupting: They find it difficult to restrain themselves and often cut off other people's conversations to immediately convey their ideas or opinions.

- Focus on Themselves: The topic of conversation tends to revolve back to their own experiences, achievements, or opinions.

- Lack of Active Listening: They may appear to be listening, but are actually just waiting for their turn to speak or formulating a response, rather than understanding other people's perspectives.

- Wanting to Control the Direction of the Conversation: They try to steer the discussion topic to areas they master or want, ignoring topics brought up by others.

 

📉 Social Impact

From a social psychology perspective, the habit of dominating can damage relationships and group interactions. Others tend to feel uncomfortable, ignored, or unappreciated, which can ultimately lead to the dominating person being shunned in social circles, even though the initial intention may have only been to share or interact.

 

Understanding this can help individuals with this habit to practice more balanced communication skills, such as listening actively and giving space to others."

How to know that someone I love is actually liking me

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to know that someone I love is actually liking me", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is sensitive to detect the love feeling from someone they love, Knowing someone's feelings, especially someone we like, can indeed be confusing. While there's no "definite formula" for knowing what's in someone's heart, there are some common signs and clues in behavior and communication that often indicate attraction.

 

Here are a few things you can look out for:

Non-Verbal Signs (Body Language)

Body language is often the most honest indicator of attraction. 

- Intense or Frequent Eye Contact: They seek or maintain eye contact with you for longer than usual. If they often look in your direction, then quickly look away when you catch them, that could also be a sign of nervousness due to liking you.

- Body Direction: When talking, their body, legs, or shoulders tend to point towards you, even in a crowd. This indicates focus and a desire to get closer.

- "Mirroring": Without realizing it, they may mimic your body language, gestures, or facial expressions. This is a sign of empathy and a naturally established connection.

- Nervousness or Small Movements: When near you, they may seem a bit nervous, such as frequently touching their hair, adjusting their clothes, or fiddling with items in their hands.

- Physical Proximity: They look for reasons to be physically close to you, perhaps sitting closer, or lightly touching you (like touching your arm when laughing).

Verbal Signs (Communication)

How they talk to you can also provide clues.

- Communication Initiative: They often initiate conversations, send messages, or call you first.

- Attention and Memory: They listen to what you say attentively and remember small details you've mentioned about yourself.

- Asking About Your Life: They show genuine interest in your life, hobbies, family, or future plans.

- Quality Time: They are always willing to make time for you, even when they are busy. They don't just "fit" you into their schedule, but make a schedule for you.

- Frequent Compliments: They often give sincere compliments, whether about your appearance, intelligence, or personality.

👥 Social Signs

Pay attention to how they behave when you are with others.

- Priority: In group events, they focus more on you and interact more with you than with others.

- Introductions to Friends/Family: If they introduce you to their friends or family, it could be a sign that they consider you important in their life.

- "Protective" or Helpful: They may try to help you or make sure you are okay, showing an instinct to take care of you.

💡 Important Point: The Best Way to Know

All the signs above are good indications, but nothing can be certain except from themselves.

The clearest way to know is to gradually and subtly do one of these:

- Asking Them Out for a Specific Activity: Invite them to do something just the two of you (for example, have coffee, visit an exhibition, or watch a movie). See if they enthusiastically accept and try to make the plan happen.

- Opening Up a Little: Share a bit of your personal feelings or thoughts and see how they respond. If they also open up and respond with warmth and support, that's a good connection.

- Giving "Hints" Back: Reciprocate their signs of attraction (such as eye contact or light touches) and see how they react. If they respond to it more intensely, that's a positive signal.

 

Warning: If they consistently give you mixed signals (such as being very attentive at one time, then disappearing at another), it may be wise to keep your distance or seek certainty through direct communication."

Types of learning disabilities that people rarely know about

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Types of learning disabilities that people rarely know about", the main reason why I choose that topic because not many people can realize whether they have learning disability or not, based on the trusted information, "Learning disabilities are a general term for various neurological conditions that affect a person's ability to receive, process, store, respond to, and communicate information. It does not mean that the person is less intelligent or lazy. In fact, many people with learning disabilities have average or above-average intelligence.

 

- Brief Definition: Neurological conditions that affect the learning process, regardless of intelligence level.

 

Key Aspects of Learning Disabilities: 

- Not a Matter of Intelligence: Learning disabilities have nothing to do with a person's intelligence level. People with learning disabilities can be very intelligent.

- Neurological: Learning disabilities are caused by differences in how the brain processes information.

- Diverse: There are various types of learning disabilities, each affecting different abilities.

- Lifelong: Learning disabilities are lifelong conditions, but with appropriate support and intervention, people with learning disabilities can succeed in school, at work, and in life.

 

Common Types of Learning Disabilities: 

- Dyslexia: Difficulty in reading, spelling, and writing. This is the most common type of learning disability.

- Example: Reversing letters (b becoming d), difficulty distinguishing letter sounds, slow reading.

- Dysgraphia: Difficulty in writing, including poor handwriting, difficulty spelling, and difficulty organizing thoughts in writing.

- Example: Illegible handwriting, difficulty writing structured sentences, difficulty expressing ideas in writing.

- Dyscalculia: Difficulty in mathematics, including understanding number concepts, memorizing math facts, and solving math problems.

- Example: Difficulty counting, difficulty understanding the concept of time, difficulty solving math word problems.

- Auditory Processing Disorder (APD): Difficulty in processing information that is heard, even though hearing is normal.

- Example: Difficulty following oral instructions, difficulty distinguishing similar sounds, difficulty understanding conversations in noisy environments.

- Visual Processing Disorder (VPD): Difficulty in processing visual information, even though vision is normal.

- Example: Difficulty reading maps, difficulty distinguishing shapes and colors, difficulty estimating distances.

- ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): Attention and hyperactivity disorder. Although not a learning disability, ADHD often accompanies learning disabilities and can affect the ability to learn.

- Example: Difficulty focusing, easily distracted, impulsive, hyperactive.

 

Causes of Learning Disabilities:

 The exact causes of learning disabilities are not fully understood, but the following factors are thought to play a role:

 

- Genetics: Learning disabilities tend to run in families.

- Problems During Pregnancy and Childbirth: Exposure to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy, premature birth, or complications during childbirth.

- Brain Injury: Traumatic brain injury can cause learning disabilities.

- Environmental Factors: Exposure to environmental toxins, such as lead, can increase the risk of learning disabilities.

 

Impact of Learning Disabilities:

 Learning disabilities can affect various aspects of a person's life, including:

 

- Academic: Difficulty in learning to read, write, do mathematics, and other subjects.

- Social: Difficulty interacting with peers, low self-esteem, and social isolation.

- Emotional: Anxiety, depression, and frustration.

- Employment: Difficulty obtaining and maintaining employment.

 

Identification and Diagnosis: 

Learning disabilities are usually diagnosed by trained professionals, such as educational psychologists, clinical psychologists, or learning disability specialists. The diagnostic process usually involves:

 

- Academic Evaluation: Testing the ability to read, write, do mathematics, and other academic skills.

- Psychological Evaluation: Measuring intelligence, attention, memory, and information processing skills.

- Observation: Observing the student's behavior and performance in class.

- Interviews: Interviewing students, parents, and teachers to obtain information about developmental history, educational history, and learning difficulties.

 

Intervention and Support:

 There is no cure for learning disabilities, but with appropriate intervention and support, people with learning disabilities can succeed. Common interventions and support include:

 

- Individualized Education: Educational programs tailored to the individual needs of the student.

- Therapy: Occupational therapy, speech therapy, or behavioral therapy can help students develop the skills needed to succeed.

- Accommodations: Modifications to the learning environment or tasks to help students overcome their difficulties. For example, giving extra time to complete assignments, providing printed notes, or using assistive software.

- Emotional Support: Counseling or support groups can help students cope with anxiety, depression, and frustration.

 

Hope this explanation helps!"

Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can master their own soul, all of us have the same enemy, namely facing the increasingly fierce "storm of worldly slander", it requires strong inner peace, and this is a great test of faith and mentality.

Based on spiritual values (especially in the context of Islamic teachings that often discuss slander in the end times) and psychological principles, here are steps to feel calm amid slander and the harsh words of others:

🙏 Key Principle: Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace

The essence of calmness amid slander is realizing that true control lies with Allah (God) and your own response, not with the words of others.

1. Patience and Tawakal (Complete Surrender)

* Patience: Consider slander as part of life's trials. Allah says that He will test humans. Being patient does not mean being passive, but refraining from negative emotions and harmful reactions.

* Trust in God: Surrender all matters and outcomes to God. Be confident that if you are in the right, the truth will be revealed in His time, and God is the best of helpers. Remember that the reward for those who are patient and trust in God is far greater than the worldly losses caused by slander.

2. Increase Prayer and Worship

* Protective Prayer: Increase prayers asking for protection from slander, both slander as a major test and slander as an accusation. Prayer is the "weapon" of the faithful.

* Quality of Worship: Improve the quality of your prayers, remembrance of Allah, and reading of the Qur'an. This will soothe your heart and be a source of true inner peace. Devout worship will keep you from anxiety.

3. Focus on Introspection (Muhasabah)

 * Instead of focusing on the slanderer, focus on improving yourself. Slander from outside is often a reflection for us to correct our real shortcomings.

 * If the slander is untrue, strengthen your belief that Allah knows the truth of your intentions. If there is some truth behind it, use it as motivation to change for the better.

🧘 Practical Tips for Peace of Mind

How to respond physically and mentally when faced with slander:

4. Stay Calm and Avoid Emotional Reactions

 * Take a Break: When you hear slander, don't immediately respond with emotion, anger, or hasty retaliation. Take a deep breath, step aside, and calm yourself first.

 * Silence is Golden: Often, silence is the best response. Responding to slander with more slander will only prolong the conflict and lower your dignity. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good things or remain silent."

5. Tabayyun (Verify Information)

 * Before reacting to news or gossip, always verify its accuracy. Don't be easily provoked by unclear news. This also applies to yourself so that you don't join in spreading slander.

6. Maintain a Positive Environment and Focus

 * Avoid Negative Sources: Limit your interaction with people who like to gossip or spread hatred. Also avoid social media or content that makes you feel uneasy.

 * Focus on Your Goals: Channel your energy into your work, achievements, and the good deeds you are doing. People who focus on goodness will not have time to think about slander.

7. Forgive and Be Generous

 * Forgiving is an act of freeing yourself from the burden of hatred and resentment. Forgive those who slander you, because in the end, the sin and harm of slander will return to the perpetrator (in a spiritual sense).

By holding fast to your faith, improving the quality of your worship, and choosing calm and wise responses, you will be able to weather the "storm of worldly slander" with a steadfast heart and preserved dignity.

The feeling of insecurity that arises from comparing oneself to the achievements of others

Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The feeling of insecurity that arises from comparing oneself to the achievements of others", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can defend themselves from feeling of insecurity when they see other people's experience more often than they see themselves, this is a very relevant question to the human experience, especially in the age of social media. In general, we don't need to feel insecure about the life achievements of others, and psychology provides many perspectives to support this.

 

🧠 Psychological Perspective

The feeling of insecurity that arises from comparing oneself to the achievements of others is often rooted in the concept of Social Comparison Theory, proposed by Leon Festinger.

 

1. Social Comparison

Social comparison is a natural process in which we evaluate our abilities and opinions by comparing them with others. There are two main types of comparison:

 

- Upward Social Comparison:

- Occurs when we compare ourselves to people we consider better, more successful, or more accomplished.

- Negative Impact: This is a major source of feelings of insecurity, envy, anxiety, and low self-esteem. We may feel incapable, like a failure, or that the success of others threatens our self-worth.

- Positive Impact (If managed well): If we have healthy self-esteem, upward comparison can be a motivation and source of inspiration for self-improvement.

- Downward Social Comparison:

- Occurs when we compare ourselves to people we consider less fortunate or with lower abilities.

- Purpose: To increase self-esteem or make ourselves feel better (self-enhancement).

 

2. What is Insecurity?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy, lack of confidence, anxiety about life goals, and anxiety about interacting. When it arises because of the achievements of others, it is often a symptom of:

 

- Low Self-Esteem: Lack of appreciation or positive evaluation of oneself.

- Unrealistic Social Standards: Society, especially through social media, often creates uniform standards of success (e.g., must be established at a certain age, have this and that), even though everyone has a different path and definition of success.

- Focus on the End Result, Not the Process: We only see the "achievements" (end results) of others without seeing their different processes, struggles, failures, and life contexts.

 

3. Why You Don't Need to Be Insecure?

Psychology suggests that insecurity will only harm yourself. Here's why:

 

- Different Life Paths: Each individual has unique contexts, paces, and challenges. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges.

- Personal Definition of Success: True success should be based on your personal values and goals, not the standards of others. Success can mean self-fulfillment, health, or good relationships, not just wealth or position.

- Incomplete Comparison: On social media, all we see are the "highlights" (best parts) of other people's lives, which often do not reflect the full reality of their struggles.

 

✨ Steps to Overcome Insecurity

Instead of feeling insecure, psychology suggests directing that energy into something constructive:

 

- Focus on Self-Improvement: Turn upward comparison from a threat into inspiration. Take lessons from the success of others without feeling inferior.

- Appreciate the Process: Value every step and progress you make, no matter how small. Focus on improving from your previous version.

- Understand Individual Differences: Realize that everyone has their own timeline and advantages.

- Set Boundaries with Social Media: Limit exposure to content that often triggers harmful social comparisons.

 

In short, feeling insecure is normal due to the urge for social comparison, but it is unnecessary and actually hinders your growth. The goal is to change comparison from destructive to constructive."

What motivates human to reject the truth

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What motivates human to reject the truth", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people reject the truth and they tend to defend their identity rather than shift their mindset to accept the truth, here is

from a psychological perspective, human rejection of truth (clear facts or reality) is often rooted in unconscious ego defense mechanisms. The main purpose of these mechanisms is to protect oneself from pain, anxiety, or threats to self-image.

 Here are some of the main factors that cause humans to reject the truth from a psychological point of view:

 

🛡️ Ego Defense Mechanisms

The most common is Denial, which is the refusal to accept or acknowledge a painful or threatening reality or fact.

 

- Protecting from Trauma or Emotional Pain: When a person is faced with a very traumatic reality (e.g., the death of a loved one, a diagnosis of a serious illness, or a major failure), the brain can automatically activate denial to give itself time to process intense pain gradually.

- Reducing Anxiety and Fear: Rejecting a frightening reality can provide a temporary sense of security and reduce stress levels, even if it is only an illusion.

🧠 Cognitive Biases

The human mind is not always rational; it has mental "shortcuts" called cognitive biases. These biases often lead us to reject new information that contradicts what we already believe.

- Confirmation Bias:

- The tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms existing beliefs or hypotheses.

- Example: A person will actively ignore or downplay evidence that contradicts their views while exaggerating evidence that supports them.

- Dissonance Reduction:

- Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort felt when a person holds two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.

- To reduce this dissonance, a person may reject new truths that contradict their old beliefs, even if the evidence for the new truth is clear. This helps maintain internal consistency.

- Illusory Truth Effect:

- The tendency to believe information that is repeated frequently, even if it is false. The more often a statement is heard, the easier and more familiar it is to process, and this familiarity is often interpreted as truth.

👤 Threats to Identity and Self-Esteem

Acknowledging certain truths can threaten a person's self-concept or self-esteem.

- Self-Image Protection: If the truth (e.g., that someone has failed or behaved badly) contradicts the positive self-image they want to maintain, denial will act as a protector.

- Fear of Losing Control: The truth about life's uncertainties, illnesses, or situations beyond one's control can create a sense of helplessness. Rejecting that truth can provide an illusion of control.

- Sense of Superiority (People Who Feel They Are the Most Right): Individuals with high levels of narcissism or superiority may reject criticism or facts that challenge their views because it threatens their status as "the most knowledgeable" or "always right."

👥 Social and Environmental Influences

Humans are social creatures, and the need to be part of a group is often stronger than the desire to accept unpopular facts.

- Social Reinforcement: Being in a group where everyone holds the same beliefs (even if those beliefs are wrong) will provide reinforcement. Acknowledging a different truth can risk being ostracized.

- Group Fanaticism (Ta'asshub): Rejection of the truth due to fanaticism towards a particular group, organization, or ideology. Science or truth will only be accepted if it comes from their own group.

 

In summary, humans reject the truth not because they are unable to understand it, but because accepting it would cause pain, discomfort, a threat to identity, or disrupt existing social relationships."

How Psychologists and psychotherapists hold a nuanced and evolving understanding of Hikikomori

  Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How Psychologists and psychotherapists hold a nuanced and evolving understanding of Hikikomori", the main reason why I choose that topic because there are some people who suffer Hikikomori, In some cases, there is a lack of synchronicity between a hikikomori and the relationship history of the social relationship out there, based on this situation, Psychologists and psychotherapists hold a nuanced and evolving understanding of Hikikomori which is generally defined as severe and prolonged social isolation and withdrawal into one's home for at least six months.

Here are the key perspectives and ongoing debates among mental health professionals:

1. Debating Classification: Condition vs. Disorder

 * Not a Formal DSM/ICD Disorder (Yet): Currently, Hikikomori is not listed as a distinct mental health disorder in major international classification systems like the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) or the ICD (International Classification of Diseases).

 * Culture-Bound Syndrome: Many view it as a "culture-bound syndrome," especially prevalent in Japan, where societal pressures for academic and professional success are intense. However, similar cases are now reported globally, leading to calls for international research.

 * Proposed Diagnostic Criteria: Researchers have proposed formal diagnostic criteria to facilitate international study and consistent clinical assessment, typically focusing on:

   * Marked social isolation in the home.

   * Duration of at least six months.

   * Significant functional impairment or distress associated with the isolation.

2. Association with Existing Mental Health Conditions

A significant point of view is that Hikikomori often co-occurs with or is a symptom of other existing psychiatric disorders, meaning the withdrawal is secondary to a primary mental illness. These often include:

 * Depression and Anxiety Disorders (especially social anxiety disorder).

 * Developmental Disorders (e.g., Autism Spectrum Disorder).

 * Schizophrenia (though this is considered less common).

However, a subset of cases, often called "primary Hikikomori," show substantial social withdrawal without meeting the full criteria for any existing psychiatric disorder, which fuels the debate about whether it should be recognized as a new, distinct condition.

3. Sociocultural and Psychological Factors

Most professionals recognize that Hikikomori is the result of complex biopsychosocial factors, including:

 * Societal Pressure: A reaction or "silent protest" against the intense pressure for performance and conformity in society, school, or work.

 * Family Dynamics: Issues like overly permissive or overbearing parenting styles and high parental expectations are often implicated.

 * Psychological Distress: Individuals often experience intense loneliness, feelings of shame or inadequacy, and fear of judgment (hypervigilant narcissistic traits), leading to the withdrawal as a coping mechanism to avoid potential failure or humiliation.

4. Approach to Treatment

The preferred approach to treatment is generally multidisciplinary and highly individualized.

 * Psychotherapy: Tailored psychotherapy is key, especially techniques that address underlying anxiety (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT) or address personal identity, resources, and autonomy.

 * Family Therapy: As the family dynamic is often central, interventions involving the parents or family members (e.g., changing interaction styles from reprimanding to patiently waiting) are crucial.

 * Gradual Re-entry: The ultimate objective is to promote the individual's autonomy and support a non-traumatic, graded re-entry into the social context.

In summary, psychologists and psychotherapists view Hikikomori as a serious and complex phenomenon that causes significant distress and impairment. While they debate its formal diagnostic category—whether it's a culture-bound syndrome, a symptom of existing disorders, or a new condition—there is a consensus that these individuals require specialized, holistic support focusing on both the psychological and social roots of their withdrawal.

Why Do Desires Cause Suffering

 

   Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why Do Desires Cause Suffering", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get suffered when they have many desires in their mind, If we look at why many people suffer today, it is not because of desires, but rather than of having the lack of resources to execute those desires. In general, it is permissible and natural for humans to have many desires. Desire (or passion, aspiration, dream) is a natural part of human nature. Desire can be a motivation that drives us to advance, develop, create, and achieve noble goals.

 

🤔 Why Do Desires Cause Suffering?

 

Suffering does not always arise from desire itself, but from how we relate to those desires and the inability to fulfill them.

 

Some of the main reasons include:

 

1. Unlimited Desires (Dissatisfaction)

- The "Want More" Nature: Desires tend to never stop. When one desire is fulfilled, a new desire will arise (for example, already having Rp10,000 wanting Rp100,000, already having Rp100,000 wanting Rp1,000,000).

- Comparison: We often suffer from comparing what we have with what others have (envy, spite).

2. The Gap between Desire and Reality

- Limitations: Suffering often arises from the mismatch between unlimited desires and limited abilities or realities (time, money, health, or conditions beyond our control).

- Excessive Expectations: When hopes or expectations are too high and unrealistic, failure to achieve them will lead to stress, frustration, and disappointment.

3. Attachment

- According to some teachings, especially Buddhism (which refers to desire as Taṇhā or craving), suffering (called Dukkha) arises because of our attachment to desires and the results of those desires.

- We suffer not only when desires are not fulfilled, but also when something we get (pleasure) is not eternal and must end or be lost. We want to maintain what is pleasant and reject what is unpleasant.

4. Inability to Distinguish Needs and Wants

- Focusing too much on "wanting" (for example, wanting a luxury car) and forgetting "needing" (for example, needing safe transportation) can make life a burden and eliminate gratitude.

 

✅ So, What Should We Do?

 

Desire is like a double-edged sword: it can be a strong motivation, or conversely, a source of suffering.

 

The key is to manage desires by:

 

- Knowing Limits: Realizing that not all desires can or should be fulfilled.

- Focusing on Needs and Noble Goals: Sorting out which desires are important for the well-being of oneself and others, and which are only driven by ego or greed.

- Being Grateful: Learning to accept the current situation and be grateful for what you already have.

- Releasing Attachment: Striving to do your best, but also being ready and sincere in accepting the results, whether you succeed in getting them or not.

 

In short: Desire can be a source of inspiration, but excessive attachment and perpetual dissatisfaction are sources of suffering."

How not to make people suffered with their desires:

 

"🧠 1. Understand the Root of Suffering: "Attachment" to Desires

 

Desire itself does not cause suffering.

What causes suffering is attachment — that is, when we must have it in order to feel happy.

 

Example:

"I want to be accepted for a job there" → normal.

"If I'm not accepted, I'm a failure and my life is ruined" → this is attachment → causes suffering.

 

Key: change desires into preferences, not necessities. 

 

🌿 2. Change Your Mindset: "I choose, but I am not bound by the result"

 

This is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and is also in line with the teachings of Stoicism and Islamic Sufism.

 

"I can want something, but I will not make the result a condition for my happiness."

 

🌸 Simple exercise:

 

Say: "I try my best, but I leave the result to God." 

Repeat every time anxiety about the result arises.

 

💭 3. Realize That Desires Always Come and Go

 

In mindfulness, we learn to see desires like waves in the sea of consciousness: they come, rise, and then recede.

If you just observe them without having to obey or reject them, they will not hurt you.

 

Exercise: When a strong desire arises, pause and say to yourself: "This is just a surge of desire. I see it coming... and I will let it go."

 

❤️ 4. Replace "I am lacking" with "I am growing"

 

Much suffering comes from feeling deficient: not smart enough, rich enough, liked enough, or successful enough.

 

Change that narrative to:

"I am enough, but I want to grow."

This ignites healthy motivation without feeling pressured.

  

🌙 5. Live with intention, not obsession

 

Intention = focusing on the process.

Obsession = focusing on the result.

 

A person with intention will work peacefully.

A person obsessed will be anxious even before starting. 

The effectiveness and ethics of violence in preventing recurring violence

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The effectiveness and ethics of violence in preventing recurring Violence", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people tend to apply recurring violence when they can't approach a peaceful agreement, The question of whether violence is necessary to prevent old violence from recurring is a complex moral and practical dilemma. There is no single answer that satisfies all parties, as the effectiveness and ethical justification of violent actions depend heavily on the specific context, the root causes of the conflict, and the potential long-term consequences.

 

1. In-Depth Analysis of the Effectiveness of Violence

- Temporary Cessation vs. Long-Term Solutions:

- Violence as a "Fire Extinguisher": In acute crisis situations, such as genocide or ethnic cleansing, violent intervention may be necessary to stop the slaughter and protect vulnerable civilian populations. For example, international interventions in Rwanda (albeit belatedly) and Bosnia demonstrate how military force can halt mass violence.

- Limitations of Violence: However, it is important to note that violence is only temporary. Without addressing the root causes of the conflict, violence can trigger cycles of retaliation and deepen animosity.

- Violence as a Catalyst for Further Violence:

- Cycle of Retaliation: Violent acts often trigger retaliation and create a continuous cycle of violence. For example, terrorist attacks can trigger military retaliatory actions that lead to more radicalization and terrorism.

- Trauma and Revenge: Violence can leave deep trauma and burning resentment within individuals and communities. This can complicate reconciliation and increase the risk of future violence.

- Factors Determining Success:

- Justice and Accountability: Ensuring that perpetrators of violence are held accountable for their actions is crucial to preventing future violence. This can include criminal courts, truth commissions, and reparation mechanisms.

- Reconciliation: Building bridges between conflicting groups can help break the cycle of violence. This can include dialogue, cultural exchanges, and joint development projects.

- Economic Development: Improving economic conditions can reduce social tensions and give people hope for the future. This can include job creation, investment in education, and social assistance programs.

- Good Governance: A fair and responsive government can help resolve grievances and prevent conflict. This can include political reform, fair law enforcement, and community participation in decision-making.

2. Ethical Considerations in the Use of Violence

- Principles of Non-Violence:

- Absolute Argument: Many people believe that violence is always wrong, regardless of its purpose. They argue that violence will only create more suffering and that peaceful solutions should always be prioritized. Figures such as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. demonstrated the power of non-violence in achieving social change.

- Negative Consequences: Violence can cause death, injury, psychological trauma, and property damage. It can also damage trust, exacerbate polarization, and hinder development.

- "Just War" Theory:

- Limited Justification: Some believe that violence can be justified in certain circumstances, such as self-defense or protecting others from harm. However, the "just war" theory sets strict criteria for justifying the use of violence, such as:

- Right Intention: Violence must be used for a right purpose, such as self-defense or protecting others from harm, not for personal gain or aggression.

- Legitimate Authority: Violence must be authorized by a legitimate authority, such as a democratically elected government.

- Just Cause: There must be a just cause for using violence, such as unprovoked aggression or severe human rights violations.

- Last Resort: Violence must be used as a last resort, after all other peaceful solutions have been tried and failed.

- Proportionality: The violence used must be proportional to the threat faced. The damage caused by violence should not be greater than the expected benefits.

- Discrimination: Violence must be directed only at combatants, not at civilians.

- Challenges in Implementation: Applying the criteria of "just war" in practice is often difficult and controversial. It is difficult to determine right intention, proportionality, and when all other peaceful solutions have been tried.

- Unintended Consequences:

- Moral Dilemma: Even if an act of violence is intended to prevent greater violence, it can have unintended consequences, such as civilian deaths, environmental damage, or political destabilization. This can create difficult moral dilemmas for decision-makers.

- Erosion of Norms: The use of violence, even with good intentions, can erode international and domestic norms that prohibit the use of violence. This can open the door to abuse of power and human rights violations.

 

Final Conclusion

 While violence may seem like a quick solution in crisis situations, it is important to consider the long-term consequences and ethical implications. More effective long-term solutions include:

 

- Investing in Justice: Building a fair and effective justice system that can hold perpetrators of violence accountable.

- Promoting Reconciliation: Supporting reconciliation initiatives that promote dialogue, understanding, and cooperation between conflicting groups.

- Inclusive Economic Development: Creating fair and equal economic opportunities for all members of society.

- Strengthening Governance: Building a government that is transparent, accountable, and responsive to the needs of society.

- Peace Education: Promoting education about peace, tolerance, and human rights to create a more peaceful and inclusive society.

 

By focusing on sustainable, long-term solutions, we can build a more peaceful society and prevent old violence from recurring."

Nervous feelings can be eliminated gradually

 Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Nervous feelings can be eliminated gradually", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people are trapped in nervous feeling when they are caught in the public affair, generally, nervousness or anxiety cannot be completely (permanently) eliminated, because nervousness is the body's natural response to situations that are considered important, new, challenging, or threatening. Nervousness is part of the body's alarm system that triggers adrenaline to prepare itself.

 

The good news: Although nervous feeling cannot be completely eliminated, nervousness is very manageable, controllable, and can be harnessed so that its impact is drastically reduced and can even become positive energy.

 

Even professional speakers or athletes still feel nervous, but they know how to manage it.

 

How to Manage and Reduce Nervousness

 

Focus on preparing yourself and calming your nervous system. Here are some effective steps that are often recommended:

 

1. Thorough Preparation (The Main Key)

 

- Master the Material: The more you master what you are going to say or do, the higher your confidence and the less chance you will make mistakes.

- Routine Practice: Practice in front of a mirror, friends, or even record yourself. Practice will turn the unfamiliar into the familiar.

- Create an Outline: Prepare main points or small note cards as a guide, not as text to be read.

 

2. Relaxation Techniques When Nervousness Strikes

 

- Control Breathing (Deep Breath): This is the quickest trick. Inhale slowly through your nose (count 4 seconds), hold briefly (count 7 seconds), then exhale slowly through your mouth (count 8 seconds). Repeat several times. This technique sends a calming signal to the brain.

- Light Stretching: Do some stretching of the neck, shoulders, and hands for a few moments before performing to release physical tension.

- Drink Warm White Water: Warm water can help calm the nervous system and relieve a dry throat.

 

3. Changing Mindset

 

- Accept and Name Nervousness: Don't deny it. Tell yourself, "Yes, I'm nervous, and that's normal because this is important." Accepting the feeling reduces its power.

- Focus on Providing Value: Shift the focus from "How am I seen by the audience?" to "What can I give to the audience?" (information, inspiration, etc.). This shifts attention from yourself to a larger goal.

- Visualize Success: Imagine yourself performing smoothly, smiling, and the audience responding positively.

 

4. Overcoming Long-Term Nervousness

 

- Face Gradually (Exposure): Start facing situations that trigger nervousness on a small scale. For example, if you are nervous about speaking, start by speaking in small groups, then increase to larger groups. Flight hours are the main key to reducing nervousness over time.

- Improve Self-Appearance: Dressing neatly and comfortably, and taking care of yourself, can give a significant boost to your confidence.

 

If the nervousness you experience is very severe, occurs almost all the time, and interferes with daily activities (even to the point of causing physical symptoms such as panic attacks), it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder (such as Glossophobia for fear of speaking). In this case, consultation with a psychologist or psychiatrist is highly recommended to get the right treatment (such as psychotherapy)."

What causes someone to be easily angered or have a high level of irritability

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What causes someone to be easily angered or have a high level of irritability", the main  reason why I choose that topic because many people lose their temper and some of them harm themselves with their action, In some cases, many people are willing to spend a lot of money on inner healing because of overwhelming negative emotions. Now let's develop an in-depth analysis of the factors that cause someone to be easily angered or have a high level of irritability. Anger that erupts easily is almost always a symptom of a deeper problem, not the problem itself.

 

💥 Deep Causes of Someone Being Very Easily Angered

 

Irritability, defined as a low threshold of patience and a disproportionate reaction to minor triggers, is a complex interaction between biological, psychological, and environmental factors.

 

I. Neurobiological and Physiological Components

Anger is an emotional response regulated by the brain, primarily the limbic system (including the amygdala—the center of threat response) and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision-making, judgment, and impulse control).

 

- Impaired Prefrontal Cortex Function: In individuals who are easily angered, there is a possibility that the connection between the amygdala (triggering the alarm) and the prefrontal cortex (turning off the alarm) is less efficient. This means the danger signal lights up quickly, but the control to calm down responds slowly.

- Neurotransmitter Imbalance: Brain chemicals play an important role.

- Serotonin: Known as the "happiness hormone," low levels of serotonin are often associated with increased impulsivity, aggression, and depression, all of which can trigger irritability.

- Dopamine: Involved in the reward system (rewards/motivation), dopamine fluctuations can affect mood and reactions to frustration.

- Chronic Poor Sleep Patterns: Sleep is not just rest; it is a time for the brain to cleanse and repair. Chronic sleep deprivation (less than 7 hours per night) disrupts the brain's executive functions (planning and control functions), leading to increased emotional sensitivity and decreased problem-solving abilities when awake, making small things feel annoying.

- Detailed Example: Someone who stays up all night for work will be much more easily angered by the sound of a small knock on the door in the morning than if they had a good night's sleep.

- Underlying Medical Conditions: Some health problems directly affect mood:

- Thyroid Problems (Hyperthyroidism): Excess thyroid hormone can cause extreme restlessness, anxiety, and significant irritability.

- Anemia: A deficiency of red blood cells can cause chronic fatigue and "brain fog," which lowers a person's tolerance to stress.

 

II. Psychological and Emotional Burden

Anger is how unmanaged emotions come to the surface.

 

- Delayed Frustration: Individuals who have difficulty saying "no" or setting boundaries often accumulate dissatisfaction over a long period. Anger emerges as an explosion because the internal pressure has reached boiling point.

- Detailed Example: An employee who always accepts extra work without complaining, eventually explodes in anger at their partner for something trivial like forgetting to buy salt, when the root of the problem is the accumulated workload.

- Cognitive Rigidity: This is the tendency to see situations from only one point of view (black/white) and difficulty adapting to changes or imperfections. When reality does not match their rigid views, they immediately feel threatened or angry.

- Detailed Example: A driver who believes that everyone should drive according to his strict rules will become very angry and road rage when other people make small mistakes in driving, seeing it as a "total injustice."

- Self-Defense Mechanism: For some people, anger is a way to cover up vulnerability. If they feel insecure, afraid of rejection, or ashamed, they may use anger as a shield to create distance or control the situation.

- Detailed Example: A teenager who fails an exam may lash out at their parents, when the anger is actually shame or fear of failure that they cannot express.

 

III.  Environmental Influences and Relationship Patterns 

The environment in which we interact and grow greatly influences how we respond to triggers. 

- Chronic Environmental Triggers: Living in a noisy, crowded, conflict-ridden, or disorganized environment can constantly put the nervous system in a state of high alert (hypervigilance), which permanently lowers tolerance for disturbances.

- Addiction to Validation (Perfectionism): The urgent need to appear perfect or gain approval can lead to great frustration when the results achieved are lacking. Anger is directed at oneself or others as punishment for imperfection.

- Lack of Emotional Regulation Skills: If someone has never been taught how to identify, name, and manage emotions other than with explosions or suppression, they will only rely on primitive reactions (anger) when pressure comes. This is a lack of emotional intelligence.

- Toxic Relationship Dynamics: Being in relationships (friendships, romantic, or family) characterized by constant criticism, manipulation, or rejection can create a deep sense of animosity that is ready to erupt.

 

In essence, when someone is "easily angered," it often means "easily overwhelmed" by a combination of these factors. It is a sign that their emotional regulation system is overloaded and needs healthier coping strategies.

Helping someone to find a sense of purpose

 

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Helping someone to find a sense of purpose", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can find a sense of purpose, In this modern era, there are many things that need to be considered, especially the goal of life, The purpose of life itself will be created if we ourselves have found Allah's guidance through our hearts, Guidance through the heart is difficult to detect if we do not try to take the time to serve the needs of others, Allah's guidance will only come to us if we reach out to others with our abilities, based on pragmatical knowledge, helping someone find a sense of purpose is a delicate process, as purpose is deeply personal and can't be given—it has to be discovered.

Here are several strategies and approaches you can take, moving from initial connection to more action-oriented steps:

🫂 Start with Connection and Validation

Before trying to "fix" the problem, focus on being a supportive presence.

 * Listen Actively and Empathetically: Offer a safe space for them to talk without judgment. Don't offer solutions right away. Just acknowledge their feelings. Use phrases like, "That sounds incredibly difficult," or "It makes sense that you feel this way."

 * Validate the Feeling: Acknowledge that feeling purposeless is a common and painful human experience. This reduces the shame or isolation they might feel. Remind them that purpose isn't a single, fixed destination; it evolves throughout life.

 * Encourage Small Commitments: When a person feels lost, grand goals are overwhelming. Suggest tiny, manageable commitments, like consistently walking for 15 minutes, trying one new recipe, or calling a relative. Small wins build momentum and self-efficacy.

🔎 Explore Values and Interests

Purpose is often rooted in what a person truly values or enjoys. Help them look inward.

 * Discuss Core Values: Ask them what matters most to them—is it creativity, family, helping others, justice, learning, stability? Purpose often lies at the intersection of their skills and their values.

   * Example: If they value justice, perhaps exploring local advocacy groups could be a fit.

 * Revisit Past Joys: Gently ask about activities or interests they used to love but have dropped. Was it a hobby, a sport, a subject they excelled at? Sometimes, re-engaging with an old passion can reignite a spark.

 * Focus on the "Why": Ask open-ended questions like, "If you could make a difference in one person's life today, what would you do?" or "What problems in the world bother you the most?" Their answers can point toward an outward focus that brings meaning.

🪜 Encourage Action and Contribution

Purpose is usually found through action, not simply reflection.

 * Suggest Volunteering: Contributing to a cause bigger than oneself is one of the quickest ways to find meaning. It provides structure, social connection, and a tangible sense of impact. Help them research local shelters, environmental cleanups, or food banks.

 * Identify Unique Strengths: Help them recognize the things they are naturally good at or that others rely on them for. Even seemingly small traits like being a great listener, having a dry wit, or being highly organized are strengths they can use to help others or find a productive role.

 * Focus on Process over Outcome: Encourage them to pick an activity (a skill to learn, a project to start) just for the joy of the process, rather than the pressure of achieving a big result. Mastery and flow state often bring a deep sense of satisfaction.

⚠️ Know When to Seek Professional Help

If their feeling of purposelessness is accompanied by persistent sadness, hopelessness, loss of interest in all activities, or difficulty functioning, it may be a sign of depression or another mental health issue.

 * Gently Suggest Therapy: Frame it as a step toward discovery, not a sign of failure. A therapist or life coach is equipped with tools and frameworks (like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or Logotherapy) specifically designed to help people clarify their values and find meaning.

 * Offer to Help Find Resources: Offer to search for local therapists, support groups, or mental health hotlines/crisis lines if you are concerned for their safety.

Your most important role is to be a consistent, non-pressuring source of light and connection. You can't give them a purpose, but you can clear the path for them to find their own.

Transforming feelings of lack into feelings of enough

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Transforming feelings of lack into feelings of enough", the main reason why I choose that topic because Many people experience feelings of deprivation when they have already received what they should have expected, The main problem is why some people experience things like this because of social demands, economic instability, identity crisis and lack of genuine human resources. 

 

Here are the reflective concepts and practical steps. 

Transforming Feelings of Lack into Feelings of Enough

 

1. Recognize the root of feelings of lack

Write down this sentence:

 ✅I often feel a sense of lack when...

 

Example: 

✍🏻I feel a sense of lack when I see others more successful.

✍🏻I feel a sense of lack because I haven't been able to make my parents proud.

 

Goal: Identify the main triggers (comparison, expectations, trauma, or past experiences).

  

2. Deconstruct the "standards" you use

Ask yourself: 

✅Who determines that I am "lacking"?

✅Are these standards fair and humane?

✅Would I judge others as harshly as I judge myself?

 

This exercise helps you realize that many standards are the result of external constructs, not absolute truths.

  

3. Turn the critic's voice into a caregiver's voice 

Write two versions of sentences from your thoughts: 

Old Thought (Feeling of Lack) New Thought (Feeling of Enough) 

✏️I failed because I haven't succeeded yet. I am learning my way to success. 

✏️I'm not as good as others. I have my own unique way of growing.

 ✏️I'm always lacking. I am enough as I am today.

 

This exercise cultivates self-compassion—talking to yourself like a good friend, not an enemy.

 

4. Recognize what you already have

 Write down 3 things you already possess, whether traits, experiences, or small achievements. 

Example: 

✅I can listen to people patiently. 

✅I have good intentions to change. 

✅I have survived this far.

 

This exercise cultivates a sense of enough from within.

 

5. Create personal affirmations 

Create self-affirming sentences that you can repeat every day: 

✅"I am enough as I am now."

✅"I grow at my own pace."

✅"I deserve to be loved unconditionally."

 

You can stick them on your mirror, in a book, or as your phone wallpaper.

 

6. Enjoy the journey, not just the result

 Whenever the thought "I'm not enough" arises, change it to: 

✅"I am in the middle of a meaningful process."

A sense of enough grows when we appreciate every small step.

  

Here is the Reflective closing statement: 

"I don't have to be perfect to deserve happiness. I am enough because I keep trying."

Hopefully this article can give you an insight, good luck.

To overcome work burnout caused by the pressure of hustle culture

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "to overcome work burnout caused by the pressure of hustle culture, you can use mindfulness techniques from cognitive psychology". The main reason why I choose that topic because not many people want to face cultural pressures that have a big impact on an individual's mindset, On average, people who experience mental turmoil caused by culture can make people forget about their innate ability when they want to use their ability to think clearly and remember their identity. Based on the research, Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the current moment with an open and non-judgmental mind. It involves awareness of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment.

 

Mindfulness Techniques to Overcome Burnout

1. Mindfulness Meditation: Meditation can improve focus, regulate emotions, improve cognitive flexibility, and protect against stress. You can try deep breathing exercises by counting to 10 slowly with each breath.

2. Gratitude and Positive Thinking: Expressing gratitude can make you feel happier and reduce anxiety. Focusing on positive things can provide energy and enthusiasm to get through the day.

3. Mindful Eating: When eating, avoid distractions like cell phones or laptops. Focus on the taste and texture of the food, as well as your body's signals regarding hunger and fullness.

4. Relaxation and Emotion Regulation: Deep breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, tai chi, and progressive muscle relaxation can help restore psychological balance.

5. Creative Activities: Engage in activities you enjoy, such as drawing, journaling, playing music, or gardening. This can help restore energy and improve emotional well-being.

 

Application in Daily Life

- Recognize the Signs of Burnout: Understanding symptoms such as physical and mental fatigue, cynicism towards work, and decreased motivation is the first step.

- Set Healthy Boundaries: Create boundaries between work and personal life. Avoid checking emails outside of work hours.

- Prioritize Physical Health: Getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and exercising regularly can reduce stress levels.

 

Additional Support

If burnout is severe, seeking support from professionals such as psychologists or counselors is highly recommended. They can provide further guidance and help you build effective coping strategies.

 

By consistently applying these mindfulness techniques, you can reduce the negative impact of hustle culture pressure and restore your emotional balance and mental health.

Here's the translation of the provided text into English:

 

Here’s how to practice mindfulness when facing culture shock, step by step 👇

 

 1. Acknowledge and name your feelings

“Right now, I’m feeling confused and awkward because of cultural differences.”

 

✅Don’t immediately reject or judge those feelings.

Simply observe like a researcher: what you feel in your body (tension, heart palpitations, etc.) and the thoughts that arise (e.g., “I don’t fit in here”).

🧘‍♀️ Quick exercise: Place your hand on your chest, take a slow breath, then say to yourself:

 

“This is discomfort. I choose to observe, not resist.”

 

🕊 2. Ground yourself in the present moment

“What can I see, hear, and feel right now?”

✅Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:

 

5 things you see

4 things you feel with touch

3 things you hear

2 things you smell

1 thing you can taste

 

This technique calms the nervous system and keeps the mind from wandering too far into the past (“it was better at home”) or the future (“I’m afraid I won’t be able to adapt”).

 

💭 3. Observe thoughts without fully believing them

Culture shock often brings up thoughts like:

“I’m weird here.”

“They don’t like me.”

“I’ll never fit in.”

 

→ Realize that these thoughts are not facts, but rather the brain's reaction to something new.

You can say to yourself:

 

“This is just a thought, not an absolute truth.”

 

🫶 4. Practice self-compassion

“It’s normal for me to feel this way. Anyone who moves to a new culture would feel confused.”

✅Say gentle words to yourself, as if talking to a close friend.

✅Give yourself time to learn without demanding immediate comfort.

 

☀️ 5. Engage in mindful exploration

Turn every new experience into an opportunity to be “fully present with curiosity.”

 

When trying new food → focus on the taste, aroma, texture.

 

When interacting with local people → pay attention to tone of voice and expressions with curiosity, not judgment.

 

“What if I see this as a lesson, not a threat?”

 

🔄 6. Create a daily mindfulness routine

Examples:

5 minutes of breath meditation every morning.

A reflection journal before bed: “What moments today made me learn about this new culture?”

Mindful walking (without a phone).